30.6.12

These emotions, bubbling up inside me. I dont want to face them.
Feelings of regret & uncertainty,  what have I done? Did I do the right thing?
What if? What will the future bring?
I miss you, I miss your touch, your smile, your laugh, right now so much.
This place feels so lonely, I miss your company.
I hope this feeling is only temporary...... I know if we are meant to be, we'll be brought back together eventually.
This feeling of freedom, it comes with a price..... part of me wishes to still be together..... but I remember how unhappy I was, & how frustrated and emotionless I made you and pushed you away further.
Two completely different energies.... I didn't know how to be with yours anymore..... feeling like I was sinking, deeper & deeper into the floor.
I know it was part my fault, I could have been there for you more, helped both our hearts grow bigger wings & soar.
I feel sick when I think of specific days I wasn't there for you, let you down, how much disappointment & hurt you felt. I wish I could go back and do it over.
But the past is the past.... I hope that by remaining friends I can try make up for those times I wasn't there. Hope I can make our future last to share. You were & are a large part of my life. You'll always be in my heart & I'll forever care.... xo